Wayward Winchester
by VoldemortTheMusical
Summary: I have done some terrible things, yet they were with good intentions. I know opening Lucifer's cage, causing him to rise, and possibly roost the plant does not fall under "good intentions," but maybe after you see my side of the story you will understand. I thought I was helping. I thought I was saving the world. Yet, I am not sorry. I wish it didn't happen, but... I'm not sorry.


**_Hi! So this is a 'What if' Story exploring the mind behind a female Sam Winchester, because I always thought that when Dean went to hell that he would have changed more than just taking a demon to bed. I mean seeing your brother die is a very traumatic experience, never mind that he was torn apart by hell-hounds and went to hell so you could live without his surrogate father. Then I always doubted that Sam wouldn't figure out what Ruby was up to after Dean returned. _**

**_Okay sorry about my rant it's just I hate that Sam always tries to do good and fails, then Dean (the golden boy) comes along and fails just as bad. Yet, Dean's indiscretion is always looked over. Since I made Sam more stubborn expect some clashing._**

* * *

_…IF YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK! YOU HEAR ME DON'T EVER COME BACK!_

"Sam? Your head in the game," Ruby called.

I shook my head slightly to clear my head of my thoughts. Yet, I couldn't. Dean said the same thing that dad said when I got accepted for Stanford. Can't he see I am trying to help…

Glancing back at Ruby, I replied to the hell-bitch, "I'm good. Let's go."

I left my brother with her, to kill Lilith. But this is my brother, my big brother, the one who raised me since dad was never around. Because of that fact this was far different than went I left for Stanford.

I listened to the quiet stillness of the abandon country house and the land around it, we had picked a spot to bring the demon back and … Sighing, I listened to the sound of footsteps on gravel as Ruby approached, "You okay?"

"Yes," I wasn't about to go into complex answers with her. As the year went on I felt less loyal to Ruby and more like she was trying to send me off the deep end. And she was, I was sure of it. Yes, I let her tag along when dean was in hell. Yes, I listened to her. And Yes, once I did trust her. _Once_, implying past tense.

Now, she is just a pawn I was using to end the Apocalypse. I had to make her think that I cared what she thought. I had to leave Dean and when I go back I can only hope he would be calm.

"Look," the demon started. "I know hand-holding really isn't my thing...but still, Dean was wrong, saying what he said to you."

I almost scoffed, he was in the right. After all, he thought I was choosing a demon over him. I put on my innocent puppy eyes and turned around, "No, he was right to say it. I mean, I don't blame him after what I did."

"Well, after we're done, you guys will patch things up. I mean, you always do."

If it were only that simple, "Thanks Dr. Phil, but you're talking like I've got an 'after'."

"Don't say that."

Mentally, I applauded her performance, _if_ I was more ignorant I would have believed her. I looked at the dreary, cloudy sky and felt a spot. Deep down, I know that in resent years the spot has gotten bigger and bigger, and darker and darker.

"I can feel it inside me, Ruby. I've changed... for good. And there's no going back now."

"Samanth -"

"Look, I know what I gotta do. It's okay, I'm just saying, Dean's better off as far away from me as possible. Anyways. Doesn't matter, let's just get this done with."

Ruby nodded and got in the car. I looked in the distance before checking my phone for messages from Dean, there were none. Maybe this fight was bigger than expected. Of course it was Sammy, you punched him. My eyes started to sting, oh no. Samantha Ophelia Winchester is not about to cry, especially over her stupid brother. But the problem was that didn't help.

I blinked a couple times, pushed my miserable thoughts away, and got into the car.

* * *

I waited in silence sitting in a alley way out side of the hospital, Ruby said that the possessed nurse worked here and I had to blindly follow her instruction. I hated blind loyalty so much that I thought it was engraved on my soul. Yet, Ruby thinks that I would trust her so easily. I let out a low chuckle as I glanced at Ruby little ways in front of me, hiding in the shadows. She was staring at the door the demon well supposedly come out. At least I knew she wouldn't let me down, she's been trying to hard to impress me so, she could keep me on a leash.

I wonder were she got all her information from. That is a riddle that I have been attempting to fathom for a while now. How can she get information like where Lilith's cook is? She is a lowly demon and doubt she would have been trusted with that sort of knowledge previously. Where does she get it from? It's not likely to be a demon, she is hunted by them. So, what's the source?

Faintly I heard singing, "Patty-cake, patty-cake, baker's man bake me a cake as fast as you can."

I moved further into the shadows as a nurse wheeling a baby came out the door, "Pat it and roll it-"

As her eyes turned black, nausea erupted in my stomach as I realized what she planed to do with that baby.

"-and mark it with a "b", and put it in the oven-"

I flicked my head to the side and the hell-bitch slammed into the wall. I walked towards her with a unreadable expression on my face and Ruby behind me, "We need to talk."

* * *

I watched from afar as the demon awoke. Ruby shifted at my side and tried to suppress the uncomfortable feeling that practically radiated off of her. Because of the demonic nurse little ways away and tied up on the table. I observed her movements as she tried to get free, she was afraid. I walked over to the struggling demon.

"What, no devil's trap?" She asked as I walked past, to the window sill. I never liked looking that the people too much, it made me uncomfortable afterwards, but I was doing this to save to world. So, I had to live with the feeling.

"I don't need one," I almost shivered at my own voice. It was cold and unfeeling, but I was always acknowledged as the sensitive Winchester.

"Look at you all-"

I cut her off, "Where's Lilith?"

"I'm not scared of you," she countered quickly, too quickly.

"Oh, but you are... with reason," I shrugged.

"Look," the demon started, not bothering to deny it. "What's my upside? Okay, I tell you, you kill me. I don't tell you, you still kill me. I get away somehow, Lilith will definitely kill me. So where's my carrot?"

Sighing, I turned to face Lilith's cook. To feel little remorse I cleared my mind as I walked to and sat on the table where the demon lay. She inched away from me as I stared at her for a few minutes, "I think what you should be worrying about is what happens before you die."

As I concentrated, she begin to scream in agony.

* * *

I went at it for a few minutes before I reveled her of pain, "Are you willing to talk now?"

"Yes...just let me die."

I got off the table and walked back to the window sill to hide from the two hell-bitches eyes, "Deal. Talk."

As she some time to breath I leaded against the wall, wondering if Dean was still mad at me? Was he with Bobby? If he was, maybe Bobby could talk it in to him to call. As I thought about my family I started to doubt that what I was doing was right. I mean if the angels really want the seals to not break couldn't they stop Lilith? Then, I could return to my family.

I scowled at my thoughts, now is not the time to act like the helpless little sister, Sammy. With that I tuned back into what the cook had to say,"Tomorrow night, midnight. She's gonna be at a convent - St. Mary's, Ilchester, Maryland."

I raised an eyebrow and smirked at the irony, "A convent."

"Lilith... She's gonna break the final seal."

The final seal? What are the angels doing in heaven eating popcorn and watching everything happen? I mean seriously, they look down on me! As I pulled my self out of my thoughts, I tilted my head to the side, a habit picked up from Cas. I hummed, "Fantastic, now would you happen to know what the final seal is?"

The demon shook her head with a fearful look in her eyes, "I don't know!"

Wordlessly, I started to torture her once more, "Are you sure?"

The Hell-bitch began to sob, "I don't know!I don't know! I swear! Please! I'm begging you. Kill me, please!"

I stared to inspect my nails as I pretended you think, "Fine."

I listed my next moves: Kill the demon, drop off the nurse in the alley or give her some BS story, and grab hell bitch and head to the convent. I was about to think of a lie to tell the nurse before Ruby spoke, "Wait. You can't."

Confused, I asked, "Why not?"

"Because we've got to take her with us. It's the final run in the death star, and you need more juice than I got."

I nodded once. At times like this I am reminded the most that demons don't have a savoir factor, but self-preservation. Yet, I always felt bad about bleeding people so I tried to get more power for less blood, especially after I realized she was making me a demon blood addict. I smirked at the thought of deceiving a _demon_.

"You promised," the demonic nurse spat at Ruby who walk around the table to the doorway.

"Sorry, sister. You're a walking, talking can of whup-ass."

"You bitch!"

"I know. Just can't trust anyone these days."

I almost snorted at the true statement as a walked over to Ruby passive look on my face. But inside I was scolding myself for fallowing like a lost puppy. Come on, Sammy, what happened to being the wayward Winchester, the snarky and difficult child. I sighed and was about to leave the room, because I knew if I stayed I wouldn't like it.

"Well, least you won't be able to crack me open that easy."

I whipped my head around, staring at the demon who had a smirk on her face. But she wasn't looking at Ruby, whom of which would've done the 'cranking' but at me with a mocking look on her face, .

"That so?" Ruby voiced.

The cook's smirk widened, "Don't forget - it's not just me you're bleeding. In fact, I think I'm gonna take a little... siesta in the subconscious - hand over the wheel for a little bit."

In a softer voice than what I was used to using on demons I asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Cindy McClellan, R.N.," She looked up at the ceiling before shouting, "come on down!"

She was out like a light. I observed her, trying to decipher her intentions before weighting my options. I could play the part of the cruel kidnapper or... I could swallow my pride and act like the scared victim forced to take orders from Ruby. I choose the later, because when I let her go she would listen to every word I say. I stepped behind Ruby and made tears swell in my eyes as the Cindy, the nurse started stir.

"What... where am I?" She examined her surroundings before settling on Ruby and me. I put on my scared mask as her eyes passed over me,"Oh, my god, I can't move. What's going on? Help! Help me, please."

As she pleaded, I silently shook my head and pushed a tear past my eyes before looking at Ruby fearfully. Ruby whom was ignorant of my performance behind her muttered in an annoyed tone, "Great."

* * *

**My face claim for Samantha is either Katharine Mcphee or Minka Kelly. Take your pick.**


End file.
